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Dating downtown santa monica
So when I found myself back in LA after a long hiatus, it was a bit of a homecoming.
For the first two years, I just assumed I had suddenly gotten ugly and stupid.
Then I heard multitudes of other people voicing similar experiences.
The perceived abundance of friendly, fit women didn’t hurt either.
However, the quality of my love life was worse than it had been in any other city.
Accordingly, dating in New York City is fun, while dating in Los Angeles sucks.
This statistic alone may be the single biggest cause of the lackluster love lives of singles in LA. Large distances in the world’s biggest city create a real barrier to intimacy.Watch a gorgeous So Cal sunset from the privacy of your own Santa Monica hotel room or among friends while sipping a signature cocktail at The Veranda Restaurant.The Georgian offers it all - and then some - just steps from the famous Santa Monica Pier.This casual, unforced, unpremeditated contact is the cornerstone of building social relations.That’s why our closest friends tend to come from work and school.So people become less likely to meet to get to know one another casually. Even though the times required to get around in NYC are comparable, the perceived effort of taking the subway or hopping in a cab is much less than driving yourself through snarls of traffic. Lack of pedestrian culture reduces opportunities for casual contact.Hence people there are much more willing to go places and meet up. Whenever I visit Boston, New York or London, I bump into friends – on the sidewalk, on the subway, in the parks.That casual contact is missing in LA, because we spend a lot of time in our wheeled steel cages.As as in the song by Missing Persons, “Nobody walks in LA.” And if you want to meet someone again, you have to coordinate busy schedules, make a one-on-one date and travel (see #2) – a higher-stakes proposition than bumping into someone and grabbing an apropos drink.Here’s the psychology of what I think happens: once you’ve been late or missed an appointment for reasons beyond your control, your brain has to make a choice: “I’m flaky so I’m a bad person” vs.“Flakiness is okay.” To avoid cognitive dissonance, the unconscious choice that most people make is to validate the unintended bad behavior.