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Dating advice for mtf
So, for the purpose of this experiment I kept my transgender status private — I'd disclose it if and when anything developed.I checked out some of the most popular dating sites for my experiment — Meet Me, OKCupid, and E-Harmony.This allows a person to engage with me as a person without making assumptions based on my gender identity.
E-Harmony wasn't free and I'd heard negative things about OKCupid from friends, so I chose Meetme with absolutely no regard for what kind of features the site may have.
I created the different profiles, with the exact same responses to the stock questions about favorite food, music, etc, and cast my first line into the water with my female profile.
Me - February 2015There is endless discussion inside the community about when to disclose a person's trans status during dating.
I typically disclose my transgender status after a lengthy "get-to-know-you" chat but prior to an arranged date.
Women have argued that men have historically been in charge of the selection process when it comes to dating and relationships because women are said to be looking for commitment and men are not.
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Having lived on both sides of the gender line, I can tell you from experience that prior to transitioning, I never had the opportunity to select the person I wanted to date — my online dating success came when I found a person with mutual interests and sent them an interesting enough message that they got back to me.
Dating as a person who is transgender can feel nearly impossible.
When you're a transgender person in the dating world, you always need to "out" yourself to potential relationship interests at some point during the process, and not doing so prior to the first date can be tragic and deadly — Trans panic is so real that, in 2014, California enacted the first law in the US eliminating the "panic defense." This defense allows defendants in murder cases to plea down to a lesser manslaughter charge if the defendant claimed that he was so shocked to find out his victim was gay or transgender that the sudden "heat of passion" caused him to lash out.
” Though I wasn't wowed by the messages, my experiment initially seemed to prove what I had suspected all my life when I was presenting as male — that women have many advantages when it comes to dating.
But I would soon find out that they have disadvantages too.